A Note to My Neighbour

Dear Neighbour,

Last night my two year old woke up with what can only be described as a 'night terror'.  This is the first time he has screamed like that in the middle of the night since we moved into our home in Amsterdam 8 months ago. He started screaming at about 2.30am. I picked him up, out of his cot and bought him into my bed to calm him down and cuddle him, but it didn't work. He thrashed and screamed and threw himself about. I tried singing, holding him and giving him a drink, but nothing seemed to calm him down. Then my husband woke up, which seemed to freak him out even more. 

At this point, I heard you banging on the wall which separates our bedrooms.  I appreciate that no one likes being woken up by a crying child in the middle of the night, but would like to remind you, that you too have a baby who not so long ago would cry most nights. Reflecting back, the thought to reprimand you for having a crying baby at night did not enter my mind. I would never consider banging on my wall. I know how exhausting those nights with a small crying baby are and my thoughts were only empathetic ones.

Let me explain what your banging on the wall did. It made us feel paranoid and even more isolated at that small hour in the middle of the night. It did move me to take my child downstairs, where we did manage to temporarily stop him crying. Then we bought him back to bed and he began screaming again. And you banged on the wall again. Like we had control over the situation. What did you hope to achieve by banging on the wall? Were we not doing enough to try and calm our distraught child already? Do you think we wanted him to cry? What did you want us to do? Your disapproval of our child crying has been noted, but not in a good way.

I hope we can become more friendly to another one day and you might realise that we have a lot in common as we both have young children who don't understand what quiet means.