Amsterdam a City?

One of the great things about living in Amsterdam is that we can access the rest of Europe.

We just got back from a few days in Berlin. As it was a few days before Christmas, the shops were very busy. I couldn't help but to compare the city to Amsterdam. We stumbled across shopping mall after shopping mall, so many huge department stores whose shelves burst with choice. For example, one department store had a floor dedicated to confectionery, where you could buy any brand of chocolate you wanted, from all over the World. 

A German soldier waving the German flag in front of parts of the Berlin wall.

We found a very cool bar, on top of a highrise building, 25 Hours Berlin. A must if you ever find yourself in Berlin. The bar is part of a concept hotel and over looks the zoo, so in the summer you can see the animals.

People seemed more individual, cooler fashion, wearing heels, ladies wearing makeup, stylish looking teenagers. And so many cars. It was buzzing. As I originate from London, which is very similar in many respects, I realised how much I missed the buzz, the people watching, the vibrance. 

As we stepped off the train in Amsterdam at 11.30pm, the man with his bike queing for the lift smiled at us. We saw one car on our journey home.  There were no people on the streets. Amsterdam closes down at about 9pm and it is so quiet! It is a city in terms of world class culture with many museums and theatres, but I'm afraid it doesn't seem very cool. The quirky, individual fashion which you see on the streets of London or Berlin just isn't there. Yes, you can buy weed and there are groups of people wandering around on stag and hen nights off their faces at the weekend, and I'm sure there is a big party scene that I'm too old to be a part of, but you don't get the feeling that you're watching the next big thing happening. It seems a little sleepy, like an eccentric uncle in a family.

Sint Maartens v's Halloween

As Sint Maarten and Halloween have merged into one long sweet/candy eating festival in our house, I have outlined the differences between the two autumn festivals for my children, so they can manage their expectations and prepare accordingly.

Halloween is a festival involving all things spooky, and centres 'around the theme of using "humor and ridicule to confront the power of death'. 

Sint Maarten's  remembers a saint who shared his cloak with a beggar. The day is celebrated on the evening of 11th November, in some parts of the Netherlands, where he is known as Sint-Maarten. As soon it gets dark or at 6.15pm on our street, children up to the age of 11 or 12 (primary school age) go door to door with handmade lanterns singing and hoping to receive sweets/candy in return.

Here are the main differences between the two festivals.

1. Dressing up

Dressing up in scary witch, ghost, vampire, mummy costumes is for Halloween. You do not get dressed up for Sint Maartens.

2. Lanterns

You make lanterns and then either make a stick with a light attached or buy a stick with a light attached. On Halloween you don't need lanterns.

Sint Maartens

3. Pumpkins

You carve out pumpkins on Halloween and make faces in them or decorative pictures. There are no Pumpkins involved in Sint Maartens.

4. Singing Songs

You sing lots of songs for Sint Maartens. There are no songs involved in Halloween.

5. Trick or Treating

On Halloween, when you knock or ring the bell of a house, you ask the person who answers the door, 'Trick or Treat?'. Sadly, the days where homeowners squirt silly spray or throw eggs et you are gone, and people will simply smile and give you a lot of sweets.  During Sint n, you don't say 'Trick or Treat' when someone opens the door, you sing a song.

6. The Number of Sweets you Receive

When you are offered sweets for Halloween, you can take as many as you feel appropriate. For Sint Maarten's, you will be expected to choose one sweet. In both cases, it's very important to express your gratitude for the generosity of the person giving you sweets. It is not appropriate to say, 'can I have more than one sweet'.

7. When?

Halloween takes place on 31st October and Sint Maartens on 11th November, the date Saint Maarten died.

And most importantly, whichever you end up doing, or even if your children were lucky enough to celebrate both Halloween and Sint Martins, have fun and remember to brush your teeth.

Mummy, I can't hear

When my son turned 3, he developed problems with his hearing. This in itself is unremarkable. It is very common for young boys to have problems with their hearing. Many of my son's friends at the time were submitted to hospital after being diagnosed with glue ear and had gromits inserted into their ears to make them hear better.  

As we lived in London in UK at the time, we took 'A' to our local GP. We were sent to see a consultant who gave me steroids to squirt into his nose. I refused to use the steriods after researching into their side affects and realising that they would not solve the problem. At the next 6 monthly hearing check, I informed the hearing test operator that I would not be giving my son steroids and she wrote something in my son's notes. We returned about 4 times to have my son's ears checked. He became bored by the tests and irritated by the tightness of the special headphones he had to wear. We were told his hearing was borderline and I decided that I would prefer not to have an operation as the thought of having my son subjected to a general anesthetic unless it was absolutely necessary terrified me. I was told, 'well, if you're not willing to authorise an operation, there's nothing we can do except keep testing his ears'.

We moved to Amsterdam in October 2013. Again, my son had his ears checked as part of a general assessment. We were told he had a problem with his hearing. We went to a very intense hearing test, where my son was placed in a sound proof capsule and did a series of tests. We were told that his hearing was perfect and he would not need an operation. 6 months later, my son was still not speaking clearly and I didn't think that he could hear me when I called him.  This was very worrying as he is learning to read, write and speak in Dutch. We went back to our local GP for a reassessment.  This time, our local GP looked in my son's ears. 'There's something in his right ear', he said.

This is what he found.

My now 6 year old son recalled when he was in nursery, (he must have been about 3 years old), finding the room very noisy. He tried putting his fingers in his ears to block out the noise, but it didn't work, so he stuffed a piece of paper in his ear. Ever since then, he couldn't hear very well. He just turned 6 years old, so he has been walking around with a piece of paper stuck in his ear for THREE YEARS!!! Shame on all those ear specialists who didn't notice that there was an obstruction in his ear. We are very grateful to the AMAZING doctor who checked his ears properly and removed the piece of paper. My son is like a different child.

Being an Immigrant

Having been English and lived in England for most of my life, I've not put much thought into how it feels to be an immigrant. Or to be labelled an immigrant. As we made a decision to send our children to a Dutch school, we are now often seen as immigrants. Our children need extra support with learning the Dutch language. 

We have been asked by our children's school to pay over EUR2,300 annually for each child to contribute to their learning Dutch. I was deeply shocked by this. In England, I had seen how a girl was embraced by my daughters school when she arrived not speaking a word of English. She was given a class buddy and practically her own teaching assistant. She was very much in demand as many of the children wanted playdates with her. My children's experience in the Netherlands has been very different. After extensive research I found that not only was the school's decision to invoice us for Dutch lessons for our children contravening a European directive, it was also the only school in the Netherlands charging newcomers for learning Dutch.

In the Netherlands, there are two main types of buitenlanders, 'foreigners', or 'outsiders'. Immigrants and expats. The expats generally send their children to international schools and so aren't seen as too much of a burden on society, until they start criticising Dutch traditions (see zwarte Pete).  The immigrants are nicely ring fenced by the area that they live in. There are specific areas where the majority of immigrants live and schools called 'zwarte scholen', 'black schools' where their children can go to. The school application process in Amsterdam is a lottery process, where the school for each child is allocated by postcode, enabling the children of immigrants to attend zwarte scholen and the children of non-immigrants to attend 'witte scholen' (white schools).

Education, segregation and deprivation are inextricably linked. The schools in large cities are often segregated: white children go to white schools, black children go to black schools. Often I hear that 'Amsterdam is so international' from Dutch people. Implying that there are a lot of non-Dutch people living in Amsterdam. 

Needless to say, a segregation in education will lead a lack of diversity in the upper echelons of Dutch society.  While there is no apparent class structure in the Netherlands, but there is an underlying division of 'them', the immigrants, and 'us', the native Dutch.  There is no private school system, even the royal family send their children to the local state school.  At 11 or 12 years old, children take an exam which defines whether or not they will attend university at 18 years. There is some movement and flexibility in the system and children who don't attend a gymnasium can redo a year and go to university a bit later.  However, what chance do the children from a black school have to go to university? What percentage of these children pass the exam to attend a gymnasium? Research from 2011 by the Kohnstamm Institute illustrated that only the 'black' children with educated parents do better in school than the 'white' children with the least educated parents. 

In more bouyant times, companies would pay for the schooling of their staff's children, but this benefit has been cut, meaning that many families cannot afford the EUR8,000 - EUR15,000 annual school fees of the international schools. The percentages of immigrant children are increasing and as more 'expats' decide to send their children to Dutch schools there does not look to be any immediate solution. We remain in discussion with our childrens' school about the Dutch language fees.

Ref. 

School Choice and Ethnic Segregation

Kohnstamm Institute

How to Star in House Hunters International

My family have just spent the last four days being filmed for House Hunters International ("HHI"). The episode should be aired in the US sometime towards the end of 2014. 

House Hunters International are always searching for new families, singles or couples who are relocating from one country to another. Not only will you have professional footage of your relocation experience, you'll also have your travel costs to your home country paid. 

There are a few ways you can star in your own episode of House Hunters International, but you must have recently moved to another country to appear on HHI.

1. Write a blog. The researchers for HHI will find you if you have an interesting story to tell.
2. Contact HHI directly with a home movie of your relocation story.

What to Expect

It was hard work and not without drama. 

Long Days

Our days were 12 hours long. We were cold. We had to pretty much wear the same clothes for 4 days. We had to repeat ourselves over and over again. 

The filming takes place AFTER you have moved to a new country. We returned to UK to film our back story. This was fun to do. For us it meant that our children put their old British school uniform back on and I had to rustle up a class of baby yoga mums and babies. It was only one day of filming and it was a relaxed fun day. 

The filming in our new country was harder. We were filmed looking around three different properties, including the one we currently rent. This involved hiring a removal company to take out our belongings so it looked like we didn't live there. Then, when filming was over, we put all our belongings back. Once everything was back in place, we had to continue filming until 8.30pm and then be ready to go at 8am the following day. It really was a hard pace to keep up with. 

Pushed to the Edge

My least favourite part of the filming was when I was filmed riding a bike. I love cycling, but I was asked to cycle over a bridge in Amsterdam (equivalent to a steep hill) with 2 children in the bakfiets.  The area was busy, full of tourists, other cyclists, cars and motorbikes. It was hard work as I was asked to go up and down this bridge three or four times. 

My husband and I were then asked to ride some hire bikes. I flatly refused as the bike had a back pedal brake on, which I've never cycled before. I was so tired, the last thing I wanted to do was ride this dodgy looking bike. By this point, it was 1pm, we'd been going since 8am with no food. Eventually, the director persuaded me to cycle this hired back-pedal-brake bike, which worked fine on a flat road. 

We were asked cycle a loop, over one bridge, along a road and then back across another bridge. I cycled down a bridge and the bike wouldn't stop. There was a car in front of me and I was heading straight for it and there was nothing I could do about it. The director ran out in front of my bike and managed to stop it. I was completely terrified. There was a camera clipped onto the front of my bike, so I believe my horror stricken face would have been captured. So embarrassed, but relieved that I didn't come to any harm.

Still Interested in being on HHI?

I would say, 'go for it'. It's a lot of fun and a once in a life time experience. 

The Perfect School

I'm questioning the school calendar.

I know that children have needs which are carefully thought out and have resulted in the way schools are today. However, children's needs must be paid for. Children need clothes food, after school activities (swimming lessons, sport) and toys. How can they be paid for when there are approximately 15 weeks of school holiday's each year and when most schools are finished with by 3.30pm? 

How can both parents afford to work? 

You are lucky if you have a relative who can help out with the childcare. Parents must figure out some wrap around childcare solution for the days the children are at school and then there are the school holidays to consider. Most employees receive about 23 days of annual leave each year. Which is just over 4 weeks holiday. But there are about 15 weeks school holidays to account for. Even if both partners worked and didn't spend their annual leave at the same time, there are still 7 weeks to worry about. The primary school care system prevents both parents from working. 

Yesterday I heard about an amazing new school. It is open from 7.30am - 6pm except for two weeks of the year. Children can take holidays when they want, meaning parents don't have to pay a premium for going away during the summer holidays. Here is the schedule.  I honestly think this must be the way forward for primary schools. There needs to be a wrap around onsite after school care solution and affordable options for childcare for the school holidays. 

Learning Dutch

Many people I've spoken to, some of them linguists who speak 3 or 4 languages, say that Dutch is an especially difficult language to learn. A lot of Dutch people speak very good English. 

Why would an English speaker learn Dutch?

Personally, I have a number of reasons.

1. My children go to a Dutch basisschool (primary school). Their friends won't be learning English until they're 10 or 11 years old. As I like to volunteer to help at the school and would like other children to feel comfortable in our home when they come to play with my children, learning basic Dutch is essential for me.

2. I drive. There are lots of sign posts in Dutch and I really need to understand what they mean to be safe on the roads.

3. I like to be sociable. Although a lot of Dutch people do speak English, I have noticed that if you can speak a bit of Dutch in the supermarket or to other parents at school, or to the children's teachers, they really appreciate it. You can almost see people's faces soften as you make a bit of effort to speak Dutch.

4. Culturally, I feel it is important. There are words and expressions in Dutch, which I'm sure, just don't translate well into English and which speak volumes about the Dutch culture. I also like to understand the radio, the news headlines and what people are saying to around me.

5. Tax. Unfortunately, as a small business, I pay tax. The tax office only communicate in Dutch. It may be a while before I can discuss my taxes in Dutch, but hopefully, I can try if need be.

What is the best way to learn Dutch?

I tried learning using CDs and I did learn a bit. My method was to just spend 20 minutes each night learning Dutch. However, my enthusiasm soon waned and I got to a point where I didn't understand the lessons and went over the first two CDs a number of times.

Figuring out learning on my own wasn't that much fun, I thought I'd find a group of like-minded people who were willing to learn Dutch during the daytime. I set up a group of mum's with children to learn Dutch one hour a week. There was a lot of enthusiasm from the international community. However, I found it hard to concentrate with my two year old in the room though, and I didn't really learn that much. 

Then I found out about a free course, put on my our local council. I signed up for it, which was a long process. I did two Dutch language assessments and had two or three interviews.  It took six months, but I managed to be placed on a Dutch language course for two evenings a week, over a year. I've completed two months so far and I think it's a going well. I know I should spend more time practicing as this will be key to learning. I'll also be happy if I can just get by in Dutch, I'm not expecting to be fluent by the end of it.

9 Months In - Are we happy?

So here we are in July, the start of the children's summer holidays.  Much has happened since we moved to Amsterdam last October. We're starting to look into buying a house or a flat. The two older children have been in their second Dutch school for 7 months and I've started Dutch classes.

The focus this month has been on:

• Free Stuff
• Work
• Happiness
• Friends

Free Stuff
I am reaping the rewards of a lot of the form filling earlier in the year. 

'L' is going to start peuterspeelzaal (toddler play school) four mornings a week FOR FREE! He'll be 2 1/2 years old. This is great, except he finishes school at 11.45am and this will carry on until he starts school when he turns 4 years old in February 2016.  'I' will be moving to Groep 3 in August, meaning he will no longer finish an hour earlier than 'A' each day and will be in school for the same length of time.

I've also managed to enrol in a FREE Dutch course for six hours a week. I've completed two months of the course already and will start again in September. I'm really enjoying it so far, though can't yet hold a conversation in Dutch. From September, we will have someone coming to the house for an hour a week to read with the children in Dutch, again, for FREE. 

Work

I'm running new baby and toddler yoga classes from September in de Rose in Vondelpark. I'm really looking forward to becoming part of the yoga community in Amsterdam and running a few more classes.

Happiness

I've been doing this #100happydays thing on Instagram and it was going very well until about day 49, when my phone fell in the toilet.  It took about a week to be reconnected to the ether on a mobile and I sort of lost the flow. However, I know that I am happiest around nature. I love hearing the wind rustling leaves in the trees. I feel calm after being in the forest. I love the feeling of the wind against my face when I'm cycling along, and like it less when I forget to close my mouth and an insect flies in.  

My happiness is also dependent on the children's happiness. 'A' has found herself again and is once more bossing other children around and talking non stop. She's currently off on a camp for four nights, happy as anything. I think now she's turned 8 she's starting to grow up a bit. 'I' has really thrived by joining two after school clubs: sport and football. His teacher told me 'I' asked him not to speak in English to him anymore. My 2 1/2 year old is bumbling around speaking half in Dutch and half in English. 

Friends

One of the most annoying questions I'm asked is, 'have you made friends yet?'. How do you know when you have made a friend? My friends from London are people I've known for over 20 years. They will never be replaced by people I've only just met. To imply that they could be is just dumb. There are so many layers of memories and experiences, laughter and tears, misunderstandings and reconciliations, births and funerals. My friends from London are almost like my family. 

I've also noticed in the past, that you never really know who your friends are until you really need them. Luckily, I've not needed to find out who my friends are yet! I do have people to ask over for dinner and people I go out for drinks with and people who we can have playdates with. I have people I can have a proper conversation with, a giggle with and who share some of my values. This is the best I can hope for and I'm grateful to the lovely people I've met so far.

Miffy is not Japanese

Did you know that:

1. Miffy was Dutch, not Japanese. She does look a bit like 'Hello Kitty' and is very popular in Japan. I think it's the expression in the eyes.
2. Miffy's real name is 'Nijntje'?
3. You can buy Nijntje shaped biscuits?
4. There is a Miffy shop 

De Winkel van Nijntje

Scheldestraat 61

1078 GH Amsterdam

tel: 020 6648054

email: winkel@dewinkelvannijntje.nl

5. ...and a Miffy museum called 'The House of Miffy'.

6. Nijntje is short for 'konijntje', which means 'little rabbit'. 

A Note to My Neighbour

Dear Neighbour,

Last night my two year old woke up with what can only be described as a 'night terror'.  This is the first time he has screamed like that in the middle of the night since we moved into our home in Amsterdam 8 months ago. He started screaming at about 2.30am. I picked him up, out of his cot and bought him into my bed to calm him down and cuddle him, but it didn't work. He thrashed and screamed and threw himself about. I tried singing, holding him and giving him a drink, but nothing seemed to calm him down. Then my husband woke up, which seemed to freak him out even more. 

At this point, I heard you banging on the wall which separates our bedrooms.  I appreciate that no one likes being woken up by a crying child in the middle of the night, but would like to remind you, that you too have a baby who not so long ago would cry most nights. Reflecting back, the thought to reprimand you for having a crying baby at night did not enter my mind. I would never consider banging on my wall. I know how exhausting those nights with a small crying baby are and my thoughts were only empathetic ones.

Let me explain what your banging on the wall did. It made us feel paranoid and even more isolated at that small hour in the middle of the night. It did move me to take my child downstairs, where we did manage to temporarily stop him crying. Then we bought him back to bed and he began screaming again. And you banged on the wall again. Like we had control over the situation. What did you hope to achieve by banging on the wall? Were we not doing enough to try and calm our distraught child already? Do you think we wanted him to cry? What did you want us to do? Your disapproval of our child crying has been noted, but not in a good way.

I hope we can become more friendly to another one day and you might realise that we have a lot in common as we both have young children who don't understand what quiet means.

Swimming in Amsterdam

I'll start by stating the obvious. There is a lot of water in Amsterdam.  The city is built below sea level. You don't have to dig very deep before you notice there is sand beneath the street level.  The city is built on reclaimed land from the sea.  There are a lot of canals and rivers. Water sports are very popular here. Actually, all sports seem to be very popular. 

The Swimming Diploma

Teaching swimming to children is a high priority in Amsterdam to prevent children drowning. Children are taught in a diploma system and can start as young as 4 years old.  The first basic skill they are taught is to float on their backs.  For us arriving from UK, this is a new concept and caused much amusement in our house, as my 7 year old daughter has been spending 45 minutes for the last 5 weeks, learning to float, despite the fact she can swim.  The children progress through this diploma system. It becomes important, as children without a diploma, cannot attend school trips or swim in public baths. 

Kinderbads

We are currently having a love affair with the kinderbads. I've worked out there are 4 kinderbads in proximity to our house: Beatrix Park, two in the Amsterdamse Bos and one in the Mirandabad swimming pool. The kinderbads are paddling pools, some big and some are huge. Most have fountains and buckets of toys you can borrow and a cafe.

Open from May - August, the kinderbads are free. It's a great way to spend an afternoon and take a picnic.  

Lake Swimming

We've also discovered lakes with areas roped off for swimming. The Bosban and the Grote Rijver both have areas for swimming in the summer.

Here's a map of the Amsterdam Bos.  This is one area which Google Maps have done a very bad job on, so this map should help.  

Sending English Children to a Dutch School

Why?

It's taken me a long time to start to write this post. Mainly because our experience so far has been much harder than we expected.  We decided to send our 7 year old ('A') and 5 year old ('I') to a Dutch school for a few reasons, mainly:

• This would be a great opportunity for the children to learn a new language. If we had remained in England, the children would not learn a new language until they were 12 years old.
• There were no spaces in the International School in Amsterdam when we moved here.
• We wanted the children to mix with local Dutch children and fully experience Dutch life. 

The First Dutch School

Shortly after finding out we were moving to Amsterdam, we discovered there were no places available at the international school (the one which costs EUR6K per annum per child, not the one which costs EUR15K per annum). We then decided to send our two oldest children to a Dutch school. 

There was still uncertainty about where we were going to live. We'd been to visit Haarlem and loved the idea of living in a large town by the sea. My husband moved to Amsterdam in August, coming back to London at weekends, while the children and I remained in our family home in North London. We hadn't found a rented house yet, or found tenants to rent out our house in London. 

After phoning a few Dutch schools, which involved my husband and I hovering over a laptop and Skyping on Friday afternoon's, when he had come back to London. We discovered we wouldn't be taken seriously without an address in Amsterdam. My husband then signed a rental agreement on a property in the southern most tip of Amsterdam and arranged visits to four schools within 5km of our property. Only one school had places for both our children. It sounded like a great school though and we felt very fortunate to have been offered places.

We niavely started the children at school at a time where our cultural differences were magnified. The run up to Sinterklaas's arrival in Amsterdam (see http://kidsandclogs.blogspot.nl/2013/10/midget-golf-and-black-pete.html).  This freaked us out.  A lot. Despite the racist undertones, which seem to be considered normal and even fun in NL, the new school was very welcoming. A new building was about to be built and the old building knocked down. This was good news as both the children would be housed in the same low-rise block, while the old school was being demolished.  This was great, I thought, they will be together and take some comfort from that. What wasn't great was that my daughter was to walk 20 minutes each way to access a gym facility and a playground. 

The school finished at midday on Wednesday's and Friday's, which I found challenging as it meant two afternoons to entertain the three children.  I didn't find making packed lunches too bad, although the children missed their hot meals from their previous school. I was happy with our 15 minute cycle ride to school, but it soon became apparent that we lived far away from school, compared to the other families. I was really looking forward to the children playing out on the street with children they knew from school.  I could have maybe tolerated these issues, but the biggest problem I had with the school was the lack of support we were given with my 7 year old learning Dutch. 

Two weeks after the children had started school, following a two week holiday in October, I had a meeting with A's (my 7 year old's) teacher.  Apparently, all extra classes for Dutch lessons for non Dutch speaking children were full in the area. Priority for additional help was given to children who didn't speak English. I was told that 'A' would learn Dutch by sitting in the classroom and listening to the 'klunker', (the sounds). 'A' would come home each day, extremely happy with piles of beautiful drawings and models she's made out of cardboard. One day she had produced an entire range of greetings cards for every occasion. While the other children were learning maths, spelling and geography, 'A' was reading Harry Potter in English.  My 5 year old was happy as there was another English boy in his class who would tell him what was going on. 

The Second Dutch School

As we're Jewish, I went to synagogue one week and met some local mums who all sent their children to the Jewish primary school, which also happened to be very close to our rented house. We didn't so much as look at this school when we moved here, as I was told it was a very bad school by someone who lived in Amsterdam and also, because we thought we would try a non religious Dutch school. The children had attended a Jewish community school in London and we fancied a change. However, after meeting these mums who all said positive things about the school, I thought I would go and look at the Jewish school. After being told off by the deputy for believing in gossip, I was amazed by the school. It was huge, the building was modern and only six years old, had two gyms, a huge assembly room, classrooms were kitted out with electronic white boards and there were floor to ceiling windows all around. More importantly, they had a dedicated, teacher trained to help children learn Dutch and I was promised the children would receive 6 hours of help learning Dutch each week. After 6 weeks in the first school, we moved them to the Jewish school nearby in mid-December.  

The children were very happy to be in the Jewish school as the routine and calendar year were familiar to them.  It's not a very religious school, but the values they are learning are close to our hearts. I was so happy to see the children celebrating the birthday of the trees after the Black Pete business! We've been very happy with the communication from the school and the support our children have received to learn Dutch. 

It's been a very difficult journey, particularly for 'A'. In 6 months, she only said one word in the classroom. The first parent/teacher meeting we had with 'A's' teachers, there was a strong chance 'A' would have had to redo an academic year. She was struggling with everything. She missed her friends. She was angry with us and with the school. She didn't want to learn Dutch in case it made her forget how to speak English. She was loosing her memories of her life in England and it really bothered her. One day she said, 'I feel like I am lost in a dream and I can't get home'.  A request to complete a basic maths worksheet would result in a massive tantrum. All she wanted to do was watch TV. We watched her go from being a happy go lucky 7 year old with a lot of friends, to being introverted and lacking in confidence. She cut off her long hair herself and wore different outfits each day. One day she put on her 5 year old brothers clothes to look like a boy, the next she wanted us all to look smart. It was as if she were trying to find a new personality.

As I have said previously, it has taken me a long time to write this post.  I didn't want to write until there was a glimmer of hope to write about, and quite frankly, since October (it is now May) there really hasn't been much of one. However, today, I had a meeting with 'A's teachers. They are pleased with her progress and think her attitude has changed. She will be allowed to go to the next year group. Last week she read some Dutch out loud in class. I'm still not sure if we made the right decision and I am still feeling guilty about what we have put her through. I've not yet witnessed her talking Dutch to another child her age and playing in Dutch with them. I think I won't fully relax until that happens.

Our 5 year old son, 'I' has found the transition from England to a Dutch school slightly easier. He hasn't really made friends yet, not in the same way as he had friends in England. He still hasn't had a playdate, though it doesn't seem to bother him. I'm hoping that from September, socially it will be easier for him when he moves from Groep 2 to Groep 3. In Groep 3, a new class is formed from the oldest children in the current three classes of 4-6 year olds.  'I' has begun to participate in sport after school two days a week, which he's really enjoying.  

I have heard that the first 6 months would be the hardest. For us it felt more like 7 months. Perhaps because I was aware of the 6 month threshold, I have been counting the days and when it arrived and we were still having a rough time, it felt even worse. Now the weather has improved and I decided to cancel A's weekly Dutch lessons, so we could spend more time outdoors together, it feels like some of the pressure has been lifted. I still think we have a long way to go, but a lot of the initial fear and darkness has begun to fade.

Kings Day

Kings Day (formerly known as 'Queens Day') happened in Amsterdam today. We were Kings Day (or Queens Day) virgins. Today changed all that.

The festivities begin on the night before Kings Day, when street parties take place all over Amsterdam. Different areas play different types of music, for example the Jordan may play 80's music and De Pijp, rave music.  People are allowed to trade on market stalls from midnight, so if you stay up late, you might be able to pick up a bargain on the way home. There are also organised club nights, which you can buy tickets in advance to attend.

What does it involve? There is the official monarchy bit, where the King of the Netherlands selects two towns to visit. Large crowds swarm to catch a glimpse of the monarchy and displays of local entertainment are fun to watch. The main events seems to be wearing orange,  (I think the wearing of orange should be classified as an event in this case) selling stuff and partying.

For those less interested in seeing the monarchy on Kings Day from dawn, you'll see people setting up their wares to sell on the pavements. The centre of Amsterdam is closed to traffic, allowing pedestrians and cyclists access to the biggest street market in Europe. The whole of Amsterdam becomes a flee market. You can find different types of purchases in different areas of the city. Vondelpark is reserved for children. The huge park is full of mini market traders, you'll see children uni-cycling, selling homemade lemonade, more toys than you can imagine, performing gymnastics, singing and playing musical instruments. We arrived at a slovenly 9.30am to set up our little stall. The park officially opens at 9am to let traders in, but some jump over the fence to get a good pitch. Venture to Apollolaan and you can find stalls selling homewares.

The party atmosphere is amazing. The main action takes place away from the stalls and along the canals. Sound systems blare out from each street corner with music that makes your inner organs vibrate. The canals are thick with boats. Each boat is crowded with beer-drinking dancing party goers, some so full, passenger can't sit down.  Some boats lilt dangerously as they chug slowly along competing for attention from those watching alongside the canals. Most boats each have their own sound systems, some have explosives, which release thousands of orange tiny orange tissue paper into the sky.  Stall holders here can be seen selling beer and laughing gas, the coffee shops are open and the air is thick with the smell of weed.

The highlight of my day was seeing some Hare Krishnas in Zuid station and selling cakes and balloons on our little stall in Vondelpark.

6 Months In

A cliche, but I can't believe that we've now been living in Amsterdam for 6 months. If I were to put my hand out to metaphorically feel how the weather was and record it at this point, what would I report?

The Start of Mundaneness

Time is being taken up with more of the mundane. Our clothes and possessions which we bought with us on arrival are now not so new. The kids are growing, the seasons are changing, so they need new clothes resulting in shopping trips. Their hair has also grown, so we've been to the hairdressers. Our bikes will need servicing soon. Our 6 month contract on our rented house is due to expire. Should we buy or carry on renting? And what to do with our UK car? Much loved, but it's expensive to pay tax on it here (EUR1,000 p.a) and we could manage with just our bikes. But it is so good to get out of the city and see new places, a bit off the beaten track... decisions, decisions...

6 Months in for a 7 Year Old

Our oldest 'A' is 7 years and has started playing out with other children on the street, now the weather is improving. This is amazing as her confidence is improving and I hope that she will start speaking Dutch with other children soon. She is making friends with other children and is starting to act more herself. In the last fortnight, she decided to go from having long hair to a short bob style and changes her clothes about 5 times a day. Sometimes she wants to dress like a boy, sometimes she wears very smart dresses, and sometimes, very odd combinations of clothes, but I think this is normal for a child her age. The last 6 months have been very tough for A and she misses her friends in London like mad. She is very frustrated that the other children don't understand her. Her journey at two Dutch schools, so far has been difficult for all of us. She frustrates my husband and I and pushes us to our limits as she is bright, but she doesn't believe that she can complete challenging work. I will write another blog later on to describe our school experience here so far.

6 Months in for a 5 Year Old

Our middle son, 'I', is less complicated. He can speak and understand basic Dutch. He doesn't have a little group of best mates, in the same way as he had in London, but the other kids play with him and I think he is slowly being accepted. When he changes classes in September, the class with be shuffled around and I think this will be good for him to form friendships. 

6 Months in for a 2 Year Old

Not forgetting our youngest, 'L', who recently turned 2. He makes friends where ever he goes and says Dutch words intermingled with English words. He doesn't really speak a lot, but he did order himself an 'apple sap' in a restaurant the other day.

6 Months in for a 40 Year Old Mummy / Baby Yoga Teacher

Where to start? OK, so I've stopped crying in the supermarket and at random times. Although, I will admit I cried the other day at school pick up when one of the mums reminded me of one of the mums from the kids previous school in London.  At times, it has been overwhelming. Receiving medical test results in Dutch and having to painfully translate each word to find out if I am in the clear. Getting the hang of the supermarket, you pay before you put your shopping in the bag, you don't get bags, so you need to remember to bring bags, the packing area is divided into two and the check out person will just start processing the next shoppers groceries before you've packed yours away. And at the end of all that, you may be asked if you want a sticker or something or the receipt.

Each week, translating multiple newsletters from the school. I have a few days where life is uneventful and then something goes wrong and I fall apart. Literally, I feel like I'm falling and there is no one to catch me. And when things do go wrong, there is no one there to help pick up the pieces. I hold it together and muster the strength to care for my children and cook the next meal and put the next wash on.  

Somehow, within all this muddle, I have managed to set up my baby yoga teaching business here. It's my one pocket of sanity, where I don't feel stupid and unknowing as I am a baby yoga expert. It is comfortable ground and well trodden ground. I'm only teaching one class a week, but it's something and it gives my life a focus.

I'm also going to start learning Dutch. In all honesty, I'm not looking forward to it. It takes me time to grasp new languages and I don't have a lot of time at the moment. And in my spare time, I would prefer to be doing yoga. But it's important that I learn it as the children's friends only speak Dutch and it won't be long before my children become embarrassed that I don't understand Dutch and can't speak it. 

So have I made friends? Not the sort of friends I had in London, no, with the exception of one person who I new before I arrived. A little group of 10 or so of us from London meet up once a month, which is my sanity. I don't see any mums from school socially, but I'm OK with that, I don't speak Dutch, so it would be awkward. Our neighbours are friendly, which is a blessing and there are a few RBS ex-colleagues around too, and people I knew from my year off 20 years ago. 

On a day to day basis, life is great. My school run takes 10 minutes there and back on a bike. The supermarket is next to the school. It takes me 20 minutes to cycle into the museum quarter, where the Van Gogh museum is. My youngest is as kindergarten 3 mornings a week, so I have some time to myself. The air is cleaner and once you've figured out where to find what you need and how to do things it's a good place to live. But I wouldn't describe it as my home.

Play Areas with More Relaxed Safety Standards

Frankendael park

I went to meet some friends in a park today. It was a park that we'd never been to before. We arranged to meet in the playground. Just as I spotted my friends, my 2 year old ran onto a bridge in the playground. I greeted my friend and that's when I realised my toddler had completly vanished.

We entered the park through this gate as shown in the photo above. I thought if there was a gate like this, then the playground would be enclosed. Can you see the bridge in the background in the photo above? Well, the bridge leads down some stairs and out of the playground to an open field.

It took half an hour to find my toddler. What is the point of enclosing a play area with gates, when they can run out into a field???

Amstel Bos

Then there's this beauty. It looks very attractive and is a lovely idea. A ship wreck for the kids to play on. Only, the back end of it is actually in water. Quite deep water...WTF!!!

Our Local Playground, off Van Boshuizenstraat

It may be difficult to spot, but behind the digger is a children's playground. Up until a few days ago, where the digger is now was a skateboard crater. Last week 15 teenagers were using it as part of a lesson to learn BMX-ing. 

The most amazing thing is, that despite being IN A CHILDREN'S PLAY AREA, there is NO FENCE around the heavy machinery or rubble. I have no words.

Weird Wildlife

I expect to see dogs being walked and was mildly surprised by the number of neighbourhood cats. I was very surprised to see dogs being cycled around and pushed around in buggies and on bikes.

And then. I noticed a flash of green moving in the trees...there are loads of parakeets in Amsterdam. 

You may also notice something blocking the sun for a moment and wonder if it was an airplane flying above and look up...to see a heron. They are beautiful, graceful birds, who I've noticed frequent the same place and sit there watching the world.

Can you spot the heron with her baby, nesting on top of an old chimney?

Colours of a City

I've noticed that when spending time in a city or country, my dreams and sense of a place are affected.

For instance, Barcelona and Sydney filled my dreams with bright colours. 

The sun shone and made everything shine. I noticed more people wearing brightly coloured clothes. My dreams were vibrant and I really noticed the strong colours in my dreams. 

I've lived in Israel, where the colours seemed more dessert like, mustard, orange and olive. 

The colours in Thailand were those of a jungle, greys, dark greens, browns and yellows.

So, what about Amsterdam? 

I think this wonderful painting by Jozef Israeli's of three ragged-looking children on the beach captures the colours of Amsterdam.

What's on the High Street

It took me a while to appreciate the differences between a shopping street in UK and a shopping street in Amsterdam. 

Typical Shops	London	Amsterdam
Betting Shops	High Frequency	N/a
Charity Shop	High Frequency	n/a
Off licence (beer, wine and cigarettes)	Medium Frequency	Low Frequency
Retail parks	Medium Frequency	n/a
Specialist food shops, e.g. good quality cheese, bread, meat	Low Frequency	High Frequency
Pound shops	High frequency	Low frequency
Book shops	Medium frequency	Medium frequency